This week, the week of Thanksgiving, marks the one-year anniversary of my perspective on life changing completely – and for the better. One year ago this week, I was both diagnosed with Stage IV uveal melanoma and became engaged to be married to the love of my life. What a roller coaster it was and continues to be. As I reflect on the last year, I’m overcome with emotions.
My brother calls me fearless. It’s true; when faced with your own mortality, you become fearless. I jumped out of an airplane this year for one! I do still have some fears, however, the biggest one being: Do the people who fought for me and with me this past year know how grateful I am?
I thought I’d take this opportunity, in case I haven’t said it enough, to say “thank you.” One expects some people to be there when life throws you a curveball like cancer: your husband, your parents, your siblings, your extended family, your in-laws (official and unofficial), your colleagues, your friends, and your dentist (when you’re Katie Doble). Other people surprise you: friends from grade school, families from your neighborhood growing up, the medical professionals helping to heal you, grade school teachers, college professors, your siblings’ neighbors, the colleagues you adopted as you sought treatment in another state, clients, your dad’s patients…the list goes on.
Whichever list you fall under for me, the expected or unexpected, I am eternally grateful to you. Whether you were rearranging your life to travel with me to treatments, visiting me in NYC or Denver, contributing financially, making sure my toes were painted all year round, drinking wine with me, sending me care packages and cards, giving me therapy sessions at no charge, tucking me in every night, covering for me when I missed work, stashing my supply of trashy magazines, working from my home on days I wasn’t strong enough to be alone, taking care of our crazy puppy, or posting words of encouragement on my CaringBridge site – I could not have made it through this year without all your love, prayers, and support. I consider myself so blessed.
Family has always been the most important thing to me, and this past year, my family proved why. My parents gave me their all this year. They made me feel like a little girl that they were trying with all their might to protect. That’s the greatest feeling as a daughter. My siblings and their spouses rallied around me and made it clear I was never alone in this fight. My husband was my number one fan and despite all the uncertainties and chaos in this past year, he gave me the best year of my life.
I spoke with a lot of dear friends this year about time spent. This year has taught me how important it is to be in the company of people I love and how easy it is, once I learned how, to say “no.” I have always had a hard time saying no; I’ve always overcommitted.
This year I stopped. It was so refreshing. I slowed down. I spent more nights in and less nights out. I made more memories with my nephews and niece. I saw my friends less, but the time spent with them was more meaningful. I left work a little earlier each night. I took some very special trips back home to NE and MN. I don’t have any regrets on how I’ve spent my time in the past. But I’m so content with how I’m living my life now.
Recently, I heard Tim McGraw’s song “Live Like You’re Dying” and it brought me to tears (and laughter, as I did some of the things!):
I went sky divin
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds
On a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
And gave forgiveness I’d been denying
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dying
I worked for a woman once who thought it was a horrible song, with a morbid message. I disagreed with her then, and even more so now. No matter how much time I have left on this earth, getting the perspective I have in the last year really has allowed me to love deeper and speak sweeter. I am so grateful for that because it is a liberating way to live.
So this Thanksgiving holiday, I thank God and all my angels for this past year and for the friends and family who have blessed me daily. God bless you.
All my love,
Katie
